Living To Please Others Is An Unnecessary Sacrifice

The problem we face in trying to please everyone is that in addition to forgetting ourselves, all that we will never be to everyone’s liking.

Pleasing others can be seen very well. But it takes a great deal of wear and tear on such a kind and obliging person who thinks of everyone but herself.

Since childhood we have been taught this attitude, educating us to do things that we don’t like but that appeal to others.

This is how we always begin to look outward, while we forget ourselves.

But there comes a day when the fatigue is so great that we stop and ask ourselves “who am I?”, “What do I wish?”. Unfortunately, we don’t know.

Realizing this, however, can be a start on the path to self-discovery.

Pleasing others can make us suffer

Pleasing others can hurt us a lot. Because we are going to do things that we do not want and which very often go against our values.

For example, if we are a couple and we do not tolerate the smell of tobacco in our home, it may be that to please the other we let them smoke inside without saying anything.

This will cause great frustration in us. Anger and discomfort which will increase over time and which, sooner or later, will reappear.

Likewise, our parents may want us to act in a certain way that is not consistent with our way of being or doing things. However, if we do the opposite, they will be upset.

Faced with this situation, anxiety becomes the echo of our interior to activate the button to “please others”. Thus, we manage to overcome it by allowing others to feel good.

But at what cost ?

At the cost of not prioritizing ourselves, relegating ourselves to the second plant and being in constant search of the approval of others.

Are others your source of happiness?

It seems paradoxical to think that pleasing others can make us suffer. However, there is an explanation for this: we leave our own happiness in the hands of others.

The moment we indulge in order to feel good, the moment we try the other’s anger or disappointment towards something that we didn’t want to do the way they wanted, we are anxious to reverse the situation.

We are at an impasse.

We will try to avoid conflicts, we will give our opinion when we know what others want to hear and we will be guided by what others want, not by what we want.

In the end, what life do we live? Ours or the one others want? If we don’t take control, life may no longer have meaning.

• We can’t not sleep because a friend got angry because we said “no” to see each other, because we didn’t want to or because that we had a headache.
• On the other hand, we also cannot worry about not having met the expectations of others.
• We must learn to accept the anger, rejection, bad faces of others in the face of our own opinions, actions or decisions. It will eventually pass to them!

Start to make yourself happy

To start to stop pleasing others you have to do a great job of increasing your self-esteem. Because it is undoubtedly this, added to your lack of confidence, which pushes you to act thus.

Once your self-esteem is where it belongs, you need to start changing old habits.

Start saying “no” when you want to say “no”. If someone gets angry, don’t be desperate because sooner or later it will pass (it’s not the end of the world) and prioritize yourself.

Prioritize your decisions, what you want, your opinions and your dreams. But above all, prioritize your well-being.

You don’t have to do anything that makes you feel good. Because you wear yourself out for nothing. You suffer and it pays off in anxiety or even depression.

Why not start living for yourself?