Don’t Let Others Push You Into Their Own Torments

In this case, the most dangerous thing is that these people often succeed in pushing others into their own obsessions, into their moral and / or personal dilemmas.

They end up making us responsible. So that we add to our concerns problems which are completely foreign to us. 

It is something very common, especially in people who are a little immature and dependent.

However, creating storms in others is something we have all experienced during times of insecurity.

It is interesting to think about this idea.

When we create storms on a sunny day

There are days when we obsess over certain things without really knowing why.

“And if I can’t do this… what am I going to do? I will have no other choice ”. “It is obvious that I am doomed to be unhappy. I’ll never get anywhere ”.

These little examples are situations, thoughts, and ideas that we can drift into at certain times in our lives.

We should not see them as something traumatic or dangerous.

Existential crises are moments in life that force us to make such important decisions. 

• We can all create our own storms at some point. But it must correspond to brief moments of fragility during which self-esteem must help us to go up the slope and establish new projects.

• Don’t regret or frown on having these thoughts.
  Real courage lies in accepting that “we are not doing well”, and that after the storm, we need calm and light, as well as rearranging our thoughts.

• It is necessary to put aside what we feel to remember what we truly deserve.
  No one deserves to walk forward in life thinking the world is going against them. That fate has closed the doors to him forever.

Cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a very useful cognitive strategy for breaking down those mental “storms” that we all suffer from at some point in our lives.

Sometimes there is an association in our minds with emotional discomfort and automatic thoughts of which we are not aware and which tend to worsen our condition. Hence the interest in taking these strategies into account.

• All emotion and automatic thought has a form in our brain.
  So when you notice that you are not very well, take a notebook and write down what is going on in your head.
• Use short words or sentences. Describe what you are feeling, what you see and what you notice.
• Then comes the time to “debate” and confront these ideas.

“I feel angry”. “People are bad”; “Why am I feeling this anger?” ; “Why do I think everyone is bad?” ; “What can I do to feel better?” 

• Once you have identified the emotion and this negative thought, you must prioritize the solution and bring about a positive state of liberation in your mind, through which you will be able to overcome this moment.

Protect yourself from storms that are not yours

We have just demonstrated that we are also capable of creating our own torments.

We know this is an internal and personal process. That we are the only ones responsible and capable of facing the problem.

C ome people are still able to push others to their limits, making them responsible for their own problems, their own inner storms.

• While it is obvious that we can all go through times of crisis, it seems that some live in a state of chronic crisis.
• They are very insecure personalities who need to be recognized, supported and listened to. They feel unable to face the problems that they sometimes create for themselves.
• We can have friends, relatives and even spouses who have this personality.
• In these situations,  we are enveloped in an atmosphere of negative emotions in which is added the obligation to have to solve the problems which are not ours.

In this case, your best bet is to keep your balance and set limits. We need to help these people as much as possible but be clear that inner storms need to be resolved by the person whose spirit is causing them.

Support and encourage. But always keep in mind that they are the ones who have the solution to what they need.

If we provide them with a solution, it is possible that these people will never be satisfied.

Keep an appropriate emotional distance. Indeed, you have your own problems and responsibilities.

Do not take these foreign weights on your back or you will greatly limit your personal growth.

You have to be very careful and take care of yourself above all else.